Aotearoa Dreams Part 2: Transition, uncertainty, liminal spaces
Quick recap: I lived in Aotearoa (New Zealand) with my family for three months in early 2026. There is no simple way to summarize my experience—it was emotionally intense, visually stunning, intellectually stimulating, and physically challenging. In looking back through my dream journal from that time a couple major themes jumped out—the second being travel, transition, and navigating the spaces between.
(In case you missed Aotearoa Dreams Part 1, you can read it here.)
While in New Zealand I had the following travel-themed dreams:
2/9/26 “Traveling by roller skates”
I am on roller skates and one of my clients, my daughter, and someone else are walking behind me. I am trying so hard to get back to my neighbor’s house where I have left my baby. Her house is next to my parent’s house but the city I am trying to get through looks unfamiliar. I encounter obstacle after obstacle. In my attempt to take short cuts I get stuck in a school then an office building. It feels impossible. Rather than rolling smoothly on my roller skates it’s like I’m trying to run in them. I wake up before I ever make it.
3/3/26 “The Tour guide’s Erratic driving”
I am on a school tour with a small group. We are taken to the art building which is quite impressive. The ceramics teacher demonstrates the glazing technique we will be doing and asked if there are any students who won't be here through the holidays. I explain that I am only here through the end of April and she misunderstands the word "April" and we have a laugh about the miscommunication. Once she understands she says I should sign up for art for my extra period so I will have time to complete my project. That sounds fun to me but I think I am probably supposed to be doing math in my extra period. We move on with our tour guide, the head of school. The group I am with and myself are feeling like the tour is taking too long and we need to get back. The tour guide takes us somewhere in her car. As we are driving she is distracted by something happening on the left side of the road and crashes into the car in front of us. I see it happening so clearly like I am in the front seat and she is in the back but I don't say anything like "watch out". I feel passive. She prepares to pull over but then the car she hit starts speeding off and driving erratically, hitting other cars. I think this is weird but maybe in this country people don't care if their cars have dents and scratches. The car we hit eventually pulls over and so do we. My sweet dog is in the back seat. A small golden retriever. I haven't fed him in a while and try giving him some gummy treats but they have gone bad and he refuses to eat them. I feel really bad that he keeps turning up his nose.
3/8/26 “Telling my Travelor origin story”
I arrive at a house for my weekly yoga class and am told by the couple who are the teachers that we are starting differently today. I realize I’ve forgotten my yoga mat. The class happens down in the basement but my other classmates are already there and scattered around the living room reading their Bibles and finishing up their homework in preparation for the class discussion. They all seem “in the know” about what we are doing but I feel confused and unprepared. I don’t have my yoga mat or Bible and didn’t do the homework or even remember what it was. The dream shifts and we are all in a different room/classroom together and someone asks me about why my work schedule has shifted. Everyone in the room wants to know and is looking at me expectantly. I say, “well…it is because of the time zone difference…” There are a few teachers who know that I am in New Zealand but my classmates don’t and they look confused and want more of an explanation. I realize this is the moment when I have to reveal the truth about my situation. I stand up and move to the front of the room and turn around to face everyone. I say something like, “Alright, it’s time for me to tell my story!” I am surprised by myself and expect to feel incredibly embarrassed and self-conscious but I’m okay. I start my story by going back to my first experience on overseas travel with my family and say, “My father was a professor,” and turn to smile at one of my professors. In the far corner of the room another one of my teachers interrupts to say, “Yes, I actually googled your father and the word “Italy” was mentioned 100 times in the search results!” I confirm that this was my father’s life’s work—creating a study abroad program in Italy and that because of it my life was set on a course of international travel. This origin story serves as the explanation for why my work schedule has changed–I am in New Zealand and in a different time zone. It feels good to tell this story about my roots and identity as a professor’s daughter, an international traveler.
3/19/26 “Driving the self-driving car”
I’m on a road trip with my daughter. We are in my Prius but it’s a “self-driving” car which means that we both get to sit in the back but someone still needs to supervise/assist the car from the back seat. My 10-year-old daughter has been the one “driving” from the back seat and unknowingly pulls into a rest stop and parks right behind a cop. I know this could be bad because she is too young to be driving. The woman cop immediately comes over and can see that my daughter is in the driver's seat. I attempt to diffuse the situation by explaining that it’s a self-driving car and doesn’t need a driver in the “driver’s seat” but the cop is smart and knows how these cars work. I lie and say that I only let her drive for the last half mile but that I was the one diving the rest of the day. I emphasize that my daughter is actually an amazing driver and didn’t make any mistakes! I know that I can’t get out of a ticket and hope it won’t be too expensive.
3/22/26 “Airport, Chaos, Meltdown”
I’m at the airport with my mom and older sister and we are all about to get on long international flights, each to a different place. I am going to Iceland. As we’re walking through the airport I suddenly realize with shock and horror that I’ve left my passport at home in the small pocket of a backpack where I had kept it on a previous trip. My sister is prompted to check to make sure she has hers too and realizes she’s also forgotten hers. My mom is cool, calm, and collected because she has her passport. I try to read the screens to see when exactly my flight is leaving but everything feels so confusing, noisy and chaotic. My sister stays calm and logical and she and I leave my mom to drive home and get our passports. I am feeling completely panicked and anxious to do this as fast as possible because I am hoping I can still catch my plane. Jessamine seems calm so I assume her flight is leaving later and she’s not as stressed about missing it. [I sort of wake up but then enter back into the dream as if it’s been continuing on without me.] It’s the next day. We didn’t make out flights and had to get on a different one the next day. My mom, sister, and I are still together, I’m sitting between them on the plane, but we will be splitting up and going separate ways at the layover. I am freaking out because I never was able to contact the airline to tell them I missed my flight the day before and get rebooked. I somehow got on the flight anyway but know that the right thing to do is to call the airline in DC (where my layover is) and tell them I won’t make my connection. Somehow without me noticing, my sister has already made her phone calls and been responsible about it. I feel like a mess in comparison. I’m frantically trying to look things up on my phone and figure out who to call but am getting nowhere and mom is sort of trying to be helpful but making me feel worse. There are other noises on the plane that are irritating me and I go into a full autistic meltdown. With my hands over my ears I curl into a ball on the plane seat and rock back and forth. At some point the flight attendant comes by to check boarding passes. I show him mine from the flight I missed and apologize for not officially rebooking but he indicates it’s no big deal which leaves me feeling confused.
3/26/26 “Traveling across the world for a 10K race”
My husband and I are staying somewhere (maybe California?) and we are with other people. He gets the idea that he wants to run a 10K race and asks me what I think about it and if I’d want to do it. I say I am willing to do it and we start planning for it because it’s the next day. As I start to think it through I suddenly realize that we’re not in California, we’re in New Zealand, so I break the news to him. Surprisingly he isn’t deterred. He has a quite serious energy about him and explains that he understands the situation and still wants to do it. I emphasize that it would be two 18-hour flights there and back just for a short race which doesn’t seem worth it and would be very expensive. My husband feels that it would be worth it. I come to understand that he might actually win the race and maybe that’s the difference in how we’re thinking about it. I say that I don’t think it would be worth it for me to go because I’m not a fast runner and really can’t afford the travel but understand that he may still choose to go. The whole dream takes place in what feels like darkness or night.
3/29/26 “Failed brakes”
I am with someone at a house located where my sister and her husband live and I offer to make a quick run to the grocery store. I take the back way to Market Basket but the street is a highway going downhill and I keep picking up more and more speed. My brakes don’t work and I fly by the exit. I keep going for a while trying to get my car to slow down and end up in an unfamiliar city. I almost get pulled over by a cop but am able to slow my car down enough that she pulls over someone else.
3/29/26 “Driving my car off a boardwalk cliff”
I am in a car with two friends, a man (who is like my brother-in-law) and a woman. We move with a thick flow of people walking down a boardwalk street lined with buildings, trusting it will take us somewhere useful. Then it suddenly ends at the beach and everyone jumps off the end of the boardwalk and lands in the sand 10-15 feet below the street level. Since we are moving with the flow of the crowd we have to jump too. We land on the beach with our car, shocked and confused about how to get our car out of the sand and back on the road. The three of us walk along the beach and I think I am holding each of their hands but then look back and see that I am holding both of my husband’s hands. We laugh about it and switch so that I am in the middle holding hands with both him and the woman. [My brother-in-law and my husband have now merged into one person.] We split up to try to figure out where we can drive the car from the beach back on the road. I am with my husband/BIL walking on the boardwalk along the beach, 10-15 feet above the ground. We hang our heads over the edge trying to see where the road might connect with the beach under the boardwalk but don’t see any solution. We end up walking around in the shops along the beach. I see my BIL has found a cool art gallery shop but as I walk in he accidentally breaks off the delicate ends of the tentacles of a blown glass octopus or squid. I watch to see what the shop keeper will say. It’s obvious that the object is too delicate for anyone to have in their house if the tips break off when touched gently and I’m ready to make this argument and defend my BIL if she says he has to pay for it. I know he can’t afford it and feel protective of him. Then I am in a sort of dark maze of restaurants under the boardwalk. There are billowing fabric walls and it’s unclear when one business ends and the other begins. I am curious and want to explore but feel out of place and don’t want to be questioned or told I don’t belong.
4/13/26 “Driving off a cliff but it’s okay because: Love”
My husband, daughter and I are in the car, my husband is driving, I am in the front passenger's seat and my daughter is in the back. We’re suddenly off-road, driving down this bright green grassy hill and my husband and I are like, “Oh shit, we’re not on a road anymore!” We’re going pretty fast down the hill and we can’t see what’s over the edge but he is staying positive and confident. Suddenly we get to the end of the grassy cliff and he tries to slow down but it’s clear that he can’t stop the car in time and is like, “Well, we’ll just have to see what happens!” The car tips over the edge and at first it’s super steep, bumpy grassy terrain with deep fjords, which my husband tries to navigate, but then the car goes off the cliff entirely. We are in the air and it's a long slow-motion fall to the water below. As we are falling I turn around and grab my daughter’s hand and smile at her and tell her “I love you!!!” and she smiles back. My daughter is happy and unaware that we are about to die. I take my husband’s hand too and the three of us hold hands. My husband and I know we’re all about to die but it’s totally fine because we are together and there is so much love and it’s all going to be okay! I just stay focused on the feeling of love, happiness, and gratitude for my little family and hope that the impact is painless. The feeling of the dream dream shifts right before we hit the ground as if the fear of pain takes me out of the dream. Next it's as if we have landed and I am still alive because I am looking at my phone. I can't look anywhere else. There is no pain. I wake up.
4/17/26 “Broken arm and missing my flight”
It’s time for me and my family to leave New Zealand and go back to the U.S. My whole family is here (parents, sisters) not just my husband and daughter, and for some reason my mom and I are leaving first. We are at the airport and somehow my mom falls and breaks her arm. I can tell by looking at it that it is severely broken but she’s calm and doesn’t seem to be in too much pain. The airport people call the doctor over and he is a young guy (a person of color but exact ethnicity is unclear to me). He is more like a medical tech with little training but he seems reasonably confident and I feel trusting of him despite his age and experience level. He calls over the specialist who will reset the arm and put it in a cast. The specialist is also a young man whose appearance is in contrast to the older White male doctor stereotype. He is Black and has tattoos and I like his energy of resourcefulness and practicality. These two young doctors seem like they have more practical life experience than formal training and this is reassuring to me. My mom and I are on different planes leaving in the next few hours and we separate for some reason. I know I should go through security and find my gate now so that I’m not rushed later but somehow I end up in a hotel room with my daughter feeling like I have all the time in the world. I feel relaxed and we spend time watching TV and resting. Then I suddenly remember that I have to catch my plane home and check my watch and see that it’s after 7pm and my plane left around 6pm. I feel so careless and irresponsible and frustrated that we’ll probably have to wait another 24 hours to get the next flight. I am confused by the fact that I could just “forget” about my flight so easily.
