Last night my 9-year-old had another one of her existential meltdowns that happen on occasion, usually at bedtime. We were lying in bed together and she was saying how she didn’t want to go to bed because she had so many things she wanted to do and I said something about how maybe she would go on some fun adventures in her dreams, and finished with a cheery, “You never know where you might go!” Immediately I saw her expression change as if a storm cloud was passing over her, casting a dark shadow on her face.

Asynchronous development is a phenomenon experienced by gifted children. But what if asynchronous development is actually a something we all experience regardless of age or neurotype? This article explores asynchronous development in the context of the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model and how understanding ourselves and our parts in this way can lead to greater self-acceptance, wholeness, and integration.